The Pilfered Paperclip 

I am now in possession of the worlds most beautiful paper clip. How it came into my possession is a tale of theft, misinformation and architectural wonders. A tale to be told for generations, but first the paper clip itself. Just look at it:

Here it is again:

And once more for good luck:

It’s just an elegant piece of design. Its copper colouring, its subtle little bends, its longer than normal length, the way it clips paper. Just looking at it makes me happy. Good design makes me happy, there is something just joyful about discovering finding an object that does its job functionally while also being pleasurable to look at.
This paperclip doesn’t fasten paper together better than any other paperclip but the mere fact that it looks better give the things it hold more importance, more weight. Like this is a paperclip of note, the things that it secures should reflect that.

I actually do not own anything worthy of this paperclip. This makes ownership of it slightly stressful. It needs to be used or else it’s not doing its job, fulfilling its destiny. It needs to be seen or else the world will not know its beauty. But I have no documents of world interest which need to be collated. Its currently holding the papers it came with in an envelope on the floor. This is sacrilegious. Thoughts of it consume my mind, nagging me to help it reach its full potential.

How did I come to become the guardian of this entity I hear you ask? Well let me detail the caper.

Twas a radiant summers day in London, the city was alive in the magical way it does on those rare long hot days. It was a Monday afternoon, my weekday day off, not a day that a crime is expected to take place. The city is supposed to be mine to do with as I please, but it isn’t. the parks are full with people inhaling the sun on one of the 14 days it shows its face. They should be working. I don’t know why they are not. I ignore them. They are not why I’m here.

Its summer so the Serpentine pavilion is up, I love this. It’s like the paperclip, beautiful. Thought has gone into it, it’s a focal point, it brings people there just to exist in a space. It captures the eye and is fleeting, gone by autumn. The paper clip is more functional though. This pavilion encloses space but doesn’t protect from the weather.

As I meander through the pavilion I crave more information about who made it, what influenced them, what it symbolises. As I sit tolerating a terrible M & S sandwich I spy a stand with A4 sized envelopes. I see people picking them up. I assume this is an information pack full of glossy images and inspirational quotes.

I finish the sandwich and move over to stand, not entirely sure I’m supposed to take one so trying to avoid the looks of the attendants. I inspect the stand, there is no sign saying what they are or inviting me to take one. They are larger than I would expect for a free brochure.

I take one.

As I pick it up I see the words on the top of the unit. They are faint and hard to see. As the envelope comes closer to me I realise I’m supposed to be giving a suggested $1 (this should be a pound sign, but my keyboard doesn’t have one) donation. It’s too late to put it back but I don’t want to donate and I see no box to do so in. I take it and move away, knowing I have effectively just stolen from a non-profit arts organisation. I’m a criminal.

I move back to the seats to inspect my prize as though I’ve made a contribution like a conscientious citizen and am enjoying the results. It’s not information about the pavilion. It’s a “Architecture Family Pack: Loose Parts Kit”. Kids are supposed to use all the perforated paper parts to create stuff, and bond as a family unit in the process. Learning through creating. I don’t want this, I’m not going to create something with it, I have no children, it will just sit there cluttering my small room.

But then I see it holding everything together. My prize. I didn’t know it was there but it had been calling me all along.

The paperclip.

I stash the envelope in my bag to keep it all secure and to properly admire once I get home where I head immediately. Its glorious and mine. One day this will be seen as the start of my career as a well-designed objects thief, the point where it all started to go downhill.

I still just sit and admire it, it’s my precious. It needs a name, but no name is worthy of it.

How long this paperclip will be in my possession is up to the clip. I feel it moves about as it pleases, working its way to its destiny of fastening a document of world changing importance. One day it will no longer be mine, I may give it to a great love as a symbol of my feelings or it may be taken from me by a great enemy, or it may be pried from my cold dead hands. However it leaves me and wherever it goes it will be where it needs to be. This is a paperclip that is going places.

930 words about a paperclip complete.

Bewildered Observer

BREAKING NEWS: Ice-Cream of the Summer 2016


I have found the ice-cream of the summer 2016.  This is the ice-cream that I will be going out of my way to be in the vicinity of as much as possible over the summer and beyond.

And the winner of the 2016 best ice-cream of the summer is ……..


Peach and Prosecco from Udderlicious in Covent Garden.


It is beautifully fresh and smooth and light, and all you could want from an ice-cream on an hot summers day.  Congratulations.  Please note this award can be revoked at any time without prior notice should I stumble upon another even more amazing ice-cream before September.

It should be noted that I really really really like ice-cream.  Like my two favourite foods are sandwiches and ice-cream.  Ironically though the ice-cream sandwich, not a huge fan.

The two things I miss most from New Zealand are the fresh fish we used to get from my uncle and the quality of the ice-cream.  As Rachel Hunter so wisely said “you just can’t beat a trumpet”, and its true the cornetto continues to disappoint me constantly simply by not being a trumpet.  It looks like a trumpet, but its ice-cream is of an inferior quality and a lack of thought has gone into the mixing in of the flavours.  Trumpet for the win.

Rachel also said “it won’t happen overnight but it will happen”, truly a fountain of wisdom she is.  We should all try and live our lives like Rachel.

Now as a professional ice-cream connoisseur there are two things that bug me.

Firstly, when you get an ice-cream in a cone and the stick a spoon in there.  I’m obviously getting it in a cone so I can lick it in the way you are supposed to eat an ice-cream.  What am I going to do with the spoon, it’s just creating waste and hinders the licking process.

Secondly when you ask for two scoops and the put the scoop you said second in the cone first.  Clearly if I ask for two scoops one peach and prosecco and one chocolate and coconut it’s because I think I’m going to like the peach and prosecco more so want to eat that one last.  I was right on that one and was unfortunately left with the still delicious but not as amazing chocolate and coconut in the cone.  I feel like as an ice-cream scooping professional they should be able to follow the order in which ice-creams are given, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but just do better next time.

And those are my concerns with the ice-cream industry, those and the fact that I need an ice-cream parlour much closer to my flat, like halfway between my flat and the tube station would be perfect, is that too much to ask.  I would make it worth your money, I’ve had three ice-creams in three days, and am not looking at slowing down anytime soon.  Now to find an excuse to head back to Covent Garden.



On a semi related side note I also discovered the sweater of the summer 2016 today as well.  Truly a productive day it’s been.

And the sweater of the sumer is ………


A mesh top made of wool.


That’s right it a full sleeve mesh top like you would wear if you were someone who is definitely not me, only instead of light thread it’s made of wool.  Fantastic.  For when a black sweater is the look you always want but it just that little bit too hot and your nipples need to breathe.

Please note, and I cannot stress this enough, I didn’t not actually wear the sweater of the summer, just saw someone wearing it, and high on the success of finding the ice-cream of the summer just decided it needed an award cause its special and you all need a little love every now and then.

Also through the entirety of this post I wrote ice-cream icecream and just went and changed them all cause my page was full of red squiggly lines and that just can’t happen.


Bewildered Observer